As I lay there at night, listening to the rain.
Talking to my heart and trying to explain.
Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been.
Yes I do think about you every now and then.

dude!  enough of all the love, heartbreak + deep crap. i'm a teenager and i use words such as 'like' and 'babe' in almost every sentance. i'm fed up of feeling so depressed and cliche all the time. i guess i'm gonna change direction & turn into a completely different cliche. today, i joined the school show :') i went with my friends and sung my heart out. then on the way home i met this maaaajor sexy boy from this private school, who walks that way on wednesdays. yeah he's like four years older;L but he's a funny one + proper cheered me up. no, i'm not over him, and i guess thats just life. because even though i thought he was so, so different then anyone else i know, i suppose thats gonna change as i fall out of love with him. aaargghhh just talking about him makes my head hurt. well i'm off to go watch the inbetweeners & doodle on my pse book. life's good. taraa:')

do you ever think, perhaps, the universe we could be living in, is simply a brain cell to another living creature? maybe this huge scary world isn't so big after all.

it makes me so angry to know that i can't control how i feel about someone. i want to move on. but truth is, there's nobody else like you. i would never let you see this, because even though your the only person i've ever, ever let in, i couldn't do that to myself. that would mean  you would know the things about me, that makes me want to scream, these things keep me up every night, curled up in a ball, eyes scrunched shut, holding onto my pillow so tight i can't feel my fingers. these things that make me cry. i hate what you've done to me, i hate it. it's the little things, i saw your brother the other day. he was walking down the path infront of me, just staring at me with those eyes you share, i couldn't concentrate on what i was saying, i wanted to break down. my knee's went weak and all i could see was you in my head, saying you wern't ready to love. i should move on. i can't mention your name. i have to let you go, and i can't wait for the day i can say i fucked off, i moved on, and i'm over you. but right now that's kinda impossible. i burned every bridge i ever built when you were here.

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge, unraveling with every word.With every word you say, make me believe that I won't feel your tires on the street. As I was finding the words you were getting away. I come undone, oh yes, I do, just thinking of all the thoughts wasted on you. and every word you say, say something sweet, cause all I taste is blood between my teeth. As I finding the words, you were getting away. Well i'm ready, i'm ready to drop. Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop. I'm ready so don't stop. Keep pushing I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call. I am aware I've been misled, I disconnect my heart, and my head. Don't wanna recognize when things go bad. The things that you'll accept. Except that I am finding the words... to say.

-Jack's Mannequin. I'm ready.

i feel like crying. earphones up, ignore the world. i wish i could turn it up inside my head whenever i feel like breaking down.

christopher freakin drew ♥
yeah, he's just a teenage singer, songwriter. but he speaks a hell of alot of sense sometimes. listen to his music, the lyrics mainly, cause they are so damn amazing. i mean,  i don't know him, he could be a right conceited twat in person, but the things he says are so sweet and perfect, i reckon i'd be the luckiest girl in the world if the guys i'd dated had his point of view.

and i know your all shook up,

from a terrible relationship,

he broke your heart

yeah he tore you into pieces.

but i promise you dear,

i'll never touch you like he did.

so baby please take my hand

and you'll never be alone again.

 and everytime i look into your eyes,

i see a little bit more sunshine,

feel a little  bit more like me,

instead of who turns out to be.

wouldn't trade it for a thing,

can i call you my baby?

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

it shouldn't be this hard. i always think about when you kissed me, but i won't let myself be disappointed over and over again by you.





just don't forget how strong it was♥

ultimatly  what i am saying is, don't be afraid of the unknown, embrace it. you are your experiences.  i don't know where this is heading. i guess that's life really. the great unknown.
- John O'Callaghan
                                     

I'm starting to fall out of believing in soul mates, or love at first sight. Instead, maybe a very few times in your life, if you are lucky, you might meet someone who is exactly right for you. Not because they are perfect, or because you are, but because your combined flaws are arranged in a way that allows two seperate beings to hinge together.

 

i don't get love, i hate the fact it can make you break down completely, but i know that once you've found someone that can make you feel so damned confused, angry, pissed off and feeling on top of the world just because of the fact they have anything to do with you, at the same time; you can't be stupid enough to let them go.

this is not going to help me get over you at all, writing this. cause i'm so sick of feeling like i need you just to get up in the morning. but you made me like this, i was so optimistic about love before i met you, just taking it as it comes, hoping somewhere along the way superman would come save me. now you've shattered my heart, but still made it so that no other guy could possibly beat you. you told me i was your princess, and you were going to fix my heart, you wrote song lyrics for me, said i was everything you  wanted and you needed me every step of the way, then you changed & said you had too much family shit going on. you never ended it, just drifted  a w a y. this was only supposed to be a sentance long, but i've never let anybody know how i'm feeling. and i'm glad i don't know anyone on here, because they'd think i was such an idiot. but when i told you that a girl you used to be with last year still liked you, just before you kissed me, you laughed. you said 'still? ha.' you don't understand the effect you have on people.  i just don't want that to be me. please don't let that be me.

missing someone is one of the worst feelings in the world. the fact that this person is too far away for you to just drop in on the way past, to meet down the road, to hug when your feeling like crap. it's horrible. but whats worse is missing someone who in distance, is not even a mile away. missing who they used to be and the conversations you used to have. knowing they've changed and there's nothing you can do about it, it's up to them and even though it kills you, all you can do it watch.

I want to live like a fairytale.

please know there are much better things
in life then being lonely or liked,
or bitter or mean or self-concious.
we are full of such shit.

go love someone just because,
i know your heart's badly bruised,
but it will always heal.
even if you don't always want it to,
it'll keep you going.
there are the most fantastic, beautiful

things and people out there,
i promise.

it's up to you to find them.

 

The day I learn to fly I am never coming back here.

204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas,

and 6,470,818,617 people in this world.

I'm gonna make such a difference to this place,

I'm just not quite sure how yet.

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.” - E. B. White

being yourself and being influenced by nobody else's opinions is one of the most important things you can achieve in life.

yes, i am retarded♥





i'm getting a pet pig called arthur.
i'm a vegeratianismisntsmt.
bitchy people bore me.
i get butterflies constantly thinking about him.

it's cliche but it's so true.
i like to blast my music crazy loud.
i love my best friends.
i can't say the word photography.
but i'm in love with taking photo's.
i think Christopher Drew is really sexy.
i like to draw alot.
i love oranges.
jack's mannequin are my favourite.
my heart breaks everytime i have maths.
i love being in love.
i like lyrics in the same situation as me.
i fall too hard for people.
i'm a dork and i love reading.
i collect too many weird things.
late night msn convo's make me smile.
i like being called baby.
unlimited texts make me really happy.
cycle speedway is love.
i will quote song lyrics all the time.
i know all the words to the womble song.
i can never get to sleep.
i will doodle on anything.
i love old movies.
i love my dog henry.
i get jealous really easily.
i wear too much mascara.
i will stay up stupid time just to talk to you.
i love caravaning.
i get really attached to people.
when i miss people i re-read msn convo's.
i hate facebook chat. msn please.
i think you me at six are amazing.
i still think busted are the greatest band.
i get paranoid easily.
i bite my fingernails.
i really want my hair short but i'm to scared.
i hate it when people can't say it to my face.
i love adverts.
i cried at marley and me.
i put on nail varnish just to pick it off.
i loose more earrings then i buy.
i have so many books it's stupid.
toothpaste is really yummy.
i could live on pringles.
i could find so many things i hate about me.
i love laughing so hard i cry.
awkward silences make me lol.
i use msn abrieveations when i talk normally.
i'm really shy when you first meet me.
i really want a huge huge jumper.
i would cry if a boy wrote a song for me.
i have no middle name.
my eyes are a really weird colour.
i hate missing people.
i'm really sad i can't abrieviate my name.
waterloo road is such a babe.
i'm actually always late.
i love boys who wear skinny jeans.
i can't wait till my room's redone.
i like meeting new people.
people who get around alot piss me off.
i am the most stubborn person you'll meet.
i really want curly hair.
i think youtube is really cool.
people who start arguements make me angry.
i hate baked beans.
i love long phone conversations.
i like socks with toe holes.
i could eat a hundred buckets of popcorn.
i think going out with someone is overrated.
i can never remember anything.
i use the word like alot.
my knee's go weak when i think about you.
i'll go through someone's photo's if i miss them.
i'm in love with never shout never.
i hate stereotyping.
i can never say what i mean propaly.
i physically can't get out of bed in the morning.
i hate hate hate people who think they know me.
i get too angry about stupid things.
i call my bestfriend bitch and gayboy all the time.
i get really embaressed when people see my drawings.
i believe stuff too easily.
i day dream about stuff that won't ever happen too much.
i know all the words to the fresh prince of belair song.
i don't really like chartlist songs.
i used to collect the green appletiser bottles.
i'm so amazingly unorganised.
i don't say all the stuff i want too cause i get embarresed.
when i'm near a cat my eyes morph into watermelons.
i fall over alot.
i have a red plastic monster that plays music.
i break things alot.
i get really nervous about seeing some people.
i can't stand pretentious people.
i eat when i'm bored.
i stay up late every night and regret it every time.
i love late nights.
i rarely say what i'm actually thinking.
i miss being little alot.
i love feeling completely out of control.
i was obsessed with big brother.
i have loads of weird objects in my room.
i smile stupidly at my screen all the time.
i want too move and live in california.
i hate feeling that i'm falling apart with someone.
i join in with the shouting when i'm at a pantomine.
i have no idea what i want to be when i'm older.
i can't live without music.
simple things make me happy.
i love you's are the best thing in the world.
i would break down if i lost someone close to me.
i always smile at strangers.
i hate feet.
i can't stand being bored.
if they can't talk to my face then they're not worth it.
i could live on cucumber sandwiches.
when i'm bored i stare at people's eyebrows.
i can never make up my mind about anything.
i'm really proud i can type fast.
i hate people who boast.
i don't understand how some people think.
i could sit for hours thinking about someone.
i hate being called hot, fit, sexy.
i hate being whistled at. i'm not a dog.
i can't take people seriously when they have a go.
someone says something and i'll not forget it for hours.
i love being held round the waist from behind.
i open all my windows in the morning and blast my music.
i love texts when i wake up.
i get really down when people talk about you.
attention seeking makes me want too scream.
i think judging on looks is stupid.
i say stupid things all the time.
people catch me singing when i have headphones in.
my pinkie's are wonky.
i've read the harry potter series 35467897564675768 times.
i hate rude people.
i would love a pet chicken.
it's a crap day when i don't speak to you.
i'm really jealous of sarah's caravan.
i get paranoid when i'm home alone.
i love sliding on wooden floor with socks on.
i could recite the twilight books word for word.
i always loose my hairbands.
i love feeling loved.
i'm too much of a wuss too get my hair cut.
i'm proud of my mum for getting through cancer right now.
i love wearing boys hoodies.
i get cramp in my hand from texting too much.
hardly anyone has seen me cry.
this is a freakin huge list.
i have the whole 10 series of friends on video.
my dad says i'm not allowed to look at a boy till i'm 34.
he would have a panic attack if he knew half the stuff i've done.
sometimes i just want to run away forever.
i've watched the skins series so many times it's ridiculous.
i never have money.
i feel like crying when i see couple's blatently so in love.
i can't sleep till about 2 because my brain doesn't shut up.
i hate patronizing adults.
someday i'll have the courage to walk out of this small town.
i like people who say what they mean.
even if i can't.
i think love is absolutely magical.