forever young

it makes me so angry to know that i can't control how i feel about someone. i want to move on. but truth is, there's nobody else like you. i would never let you see this, because even though your the only person i've ever, ever let in, i couldn't do that to myself. that would mean  you would know the things about me, that makes me want to scream, these things keep me up every night, curled up in a ball, eyes scrunched shut, holding onto my pillow so tight i can't feel my fingers. these things that make me cry. i hate what you've done to me, i hate it. it's the little things, i saw your brother the other day. he was walking down the path infront of me, just staring at me with those eyes you share, i couldn't concentrate on what i was saying, i wanted to break down. my knee's went weak and all i could see was you in my head, saying you wern't ready to love. i should move on. i can't mention your name. i have to let you go, and i can't wait for the day i can say i fucked off, i moved on, and i'm over you. but right now that's kinda impossible. i burned every bridge i ever built when you were here.