As I lay there at night, listening to the rain.
Talking to my heart and trying to explain.
Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been.
Yes I do think about you every now and then.

dude!  enough of all the love, heartbreak + deep crap. i'm a teenager and i use words such as 'like' and 'babe' in almost every sentance. i'm fed up of feeling so depressed and cliche all the time. i guess i'm gonna change direction & turn into a completely different cliche. today, i joined the school show :') i went with my friends and sung my heart out. then on the way home i met this maaaajor sexy boy from this private school, who walks that way on wednesdays. yeah he's like four years older;L but he's a funny one + proper cheered me up. no, i'm not over him, and i guess thats just life. because even though i thought he was so, so different then anyone else i know, i suppose thats gonna change as i fall out of love with him. aaargghhh just talking about him makes my head hurt. well i'm off to go watch the inbetweeners & doodle on my pse book. life's good. taraa:')

do you ever think, perhaps, the universe we could be living in, is simply a brain cell to another living creature? maybe this huge scary world isn't so big after all.

it makes me so angry to know that i can't control how i feel about someone. i want to move on. but truth is, there's nobody else like you. i would never let you see this, because even though your the only person i've ever, ever let in, i couldn't do that to myself. that would mean  you would know the things about me, that makes me want to scream, these things keep me up every night, curled up in a ball, eyes scrunched shut, holding onto my pillow so tight i can't feel my fingers. these things that make me cry. i hate what you've done to me, i hate it. it's the little things, i saw your brother the other day. he was walking down the path infront of me, just staring at me with those eyes you share, i couldn't concentrate on what i was saying, i wanted to break down. my knee's went weak and all i could see was you in my head, saying you wern't ready to love. i should move on. i can't mention your name. i have to let you go, and i can't wait for the day i can say i fucked off, i moved on, and i'm over you. but right now that's kinda impossible. i burned every bridge i ever built when you were here.

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge, unraveling with every word.With every word you say, make me believe that I won't feel your tires on the street. As I was finding the words you were getting away. I come undone, oh yes, I do, just thinking of all the thoughts wasted on you. and every word you say, say something sweet, cause all I taste is blood between my teeth. As I finding the words, you were getting away. Well i'm ready, i'm ready to drop. Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop. I'm ready so don't stop. Keep pushing I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call. I am aware I've been misled, I disconnect my heart, and my head. Don't wanna recognize when things go bad. The things that you'll accept. Except that I am finding the words... to say.

-Jack's Mannequin. I'm ready.

i feel like crying. earphones up, ignore the world. i wish i could turn it up inside my head whenever i feel like breaking down.